Cause reluctant to apologize after a fight



Every human being has a different character . And when the two men are brought together with different properties , quarrel certainly inevitable .

Not a bit of husband or wife unconscious issued rant during a fight . At the end of their quarrel was reluctant to say the word sorry .

Psychologist who wrote the best-selling book ‘ The Dance of Anger ‘ , Harriet Lerner , argued that men can be difficult to apologize because they do not have enough courage to bear responsibility for the bad attitude . Quite many people who do not have enough room in his heart to admit his mistakes and apologize to the aggrieved party .

If you encounter the above situation , Lerner suggests , do not force or make the couple feel he should apologize . The force or pressure you can actually make the problem even more complicated . Criticism and complaints on the attitude you can make more husband reluctantly apologized .

Husband feel if the apology it could make a quarrel arise again . He was also reluctant to hear the chatter of his wife which he considers will be growing longer , if he apologizes .

Lerner said , people who are in a relationship is hard to apologize if they feel will be appreciated rather than criticized . The wife was not going to get an apology from her husband if they exaggerate the problem .

For example , when the husband comes home from work three times very night without telling you . If you keep on lecturing her , she was not going to apologize to you , even though it was late five times though . Husband will not think about the word ‘ sorry ‘ is. Instead he feels is the ‘ lecture ‘ wife constantly.

If you attack his character , for example by saying , the husband is not a reliable person or husband is never the attention , the more difficult you make it say sorry . Lerner insists , people will apologize for what he did , not because of who he was .

So , suggestions Lerner , try to focus on the attitude of your partner guilt . Look at the facts, do not confuse with other problems . Psychologist who was also the guest of the show ‘ Oprah Winfrey Show ‘ that says , ask your husband to apologize if you deserve it . But do not make the request as an argument.

Lerner suggests , rather than arguing endlessly , husband give examples . Why do not you first apologize sincerely , if that apology was necessary . Your sincerity apologize contagious and can be an example of maturity for a husband .

Husband is difficult to say the word sorry can only use non-verbal way to show guilt . If indeed it does , accept it with sincere , without the need for further questioning about the word sorry .

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